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Does he know how long it takes women to finish? OK, maybe this is the most relatable sex scene because it's kind of feels straight outta datenight.

Christian goes down on Ana one of the only decent traits about him is that he's enthusiastic about performing oral sex.

They then proceed to have tame missionary sex because they are clearly no longer reading our expert-approved tips for spicing up their sex lives.

Anyway, during a spirited game of billiards, Christian says he hopes Ana's not a sore loser. Her reply? He bends her over and then proceeds to have sex with her from behind, on the pool table, because he once heard Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy?

Real talk: Most of the Fifty Shades Darker sexxxxx scenes kind of blur together. This scene is different ish because Christian uses a metal spreader bar on Ana available on Amazon , if you're curious, because if there's one thing the Fifty Shades series is good at, it's selling stuff.

He goes down on her again, flips her over, and has doggy style sex with her. Everybody wins! After a highly implausible shower escapade their If you're into that, this is great!

If you're not, it's not. The most exciting part of this, to me, is their ability to travel so swiftly from shower to Red Room without an awkward exchange of towels.

Movie magic at its finest. This was the moment everyone was waiting for. The first time they do it. The people behind-the-scenes really tried their hardest to make this seem romantic, and like the way everyone wishes they had lost their virginity.

There's a shot of Ana's leg hair because virgins don't shave their thighs, apparently , you get a Jamie Dornan butt shot, and then you get some standard issue missionary sex, because as we will come to learn throughout the series, Christian Grey is a man of few actually exciting sex moves.

Or, wait…is this what everyone was waiting for? Set to the tune of a mediocre cover of "Crazy In Love," filled to the brim with flogging, rope, restraints, and sex Honestly, this is the only legitimately hot scene in the entire first two movies.

Because a it's in public , and b it's not just overt softcore porn. The best part, though, is you know Ana is getting off here, and not just Christian, which automatically makes it better than their other sexy time encounters.

Plus, the music choice "Moondance" by Van Morrison was a nice surprise. Who doesn't love doin' it to Van Morrison? Still, it's pretty ridiculous that nobody would be able to tell that his hand was up her skirt.

How do you maneuver your skirt that easily? How does no one in the elevator realize what's going on? Will Ana get her underwear back after giving it to Christian at dinner?

These are all confounding questions, and it just goes to show that Fifty Shades ' true genre is mystery. Fifty Shades Darker is one of those movies where, if you're planning on seeing it, you're not really asking whether it's good.

But for what it's worth: it is better than Fifty Shades of Grey. One question it's natural to have about a film based on the notoriously sex-filled books from E L James is: how much nudity is in this movie?

It's a fair question and one we had back when we were waiting for Fifty Shades of Grey , and Jamie Dornan dashed dreams everywhere when he said we wouldn't be seeing his "todger.

So how does Fifty Shades Darker stack up? Well, Jamie Dornan said he didn't know a few months ago and that we'd have to "wait and see.

This is rated R, not NC, after all, and in today's pop culture, it's a rare title that shows us male full-frontal nudity. But at least it's not that unfair — in Fifty Shades of Grey , Dakota Johnson did full frontal, including an infamous pubic hair shot, but this time, she's relatively under wraps.

I mean, she shows her breasts a lot, because this is America. As for Dornan? We get a tease of the top of his butt in an early scene, then later, in the Red Room, we see him naked from the back.

Full rearal, if you will. It's distinct also because in most of the sex scenes, he rarely gets fully naked. I guess he likes doing it in pants, like a reverse Donald Duck.

You do you, Christian Grey.

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Oh no! Ana's naked, but Christian's mom is there! Time to put some clothes on! This scene will resonate deeply with anyone who has tried to engage in some sexy time, only to be thwarted by the sudden appearance of a family member or annoying roommate.

This scene aims to titillate — Christian ties up Ana's wrists and blindfolds her with her shirt, then grabs an ice cube.

He runs it slowly and sensually , of course down her body, flips her over, spanks her, puts on a condom like a respectable gentleman, and has sex with her doggy style.

Unfortunately, I have to detract points for how much emphasis the director decided to put on that damn ice cube.

It almost becomes comical. Ana's been wearin' silver balls up in her vagina throughout an entire auction, as one does.

After Ana wins loses? They passionately kiss. He ties up her wrists. Then he unties her, takes out the balls, and flips her over, and then He asks her to come for him, but, like, it's only been a few minutes.

Has Christian ever actually had sex with a lady? Does he know how long it takes women to finish? OK, maybe this is the most relatable sex scene because it's kind of feels straight outta datenight.

Christian goes down on Ana one of the only decent traits about him is that he's enthusiastic about performing oral sex.

They then proceed to have tame missionary sex because they are clearly no longer reading our expert-approved tips for spicing up their sex lives.

Anyway, during a spirited game of billiards, Christian says he hopes Ana's not a sore loser. Her reply? He bends her over and then proceeds to have sex with her from behind, on the pool table, because he once heard Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy?

Real talk: Most of the Fifty Shades Darker sexxxxx scenes kind of blur together. This scene is different ish because Christian uses a metal spreader bar on Ana available on Amazon , if you're curious, because if there's one thing the Fifty Shades series is good at, it's selling stuff.

He goes down on her again, flips her over, and has doggy style sex with her. Everybody wins! After a highly implausible shower escapade their If you're into that, this is great!

If you're not, it's not. The most exciting part of this, to me, is their ability to travel so swiftly from shower to Red Room without an awkward exchange of towels.

Movie magic at its finest. This was the moment everyone was waiting for. I guess he likes doing it in pants, like a reverse Donald Duck. You do you, Christian Grey.

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